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LETTER: BRINGING BACK REAL YOM TOV
NUNU letters

LETTER: BRINGING BACK REAL YOM TOV

Letter sent in to nunu

AdminMarch 23, 2026

As we approach Pesach, maybe it is time to pause and remember what our parents taught us.

They did not have everything. Yom Tov was not about vacations, programs, or constant upgrades. It was about family, about being together, about making the most of what we had.

There was a certain simplicity. A certain אמת.

We learned how to appreciate. We learned how to make Yom Tov beautiful without needing more and more. We learned that simcha does not come from how much you spend, but from who you are with.

Today, things feel different. The pressure, the expectations, the constant feeling that we need to do more, spend more, go away, upgrade.

Families should not feel a heavy financial burden walking into Yom Tov. It should not feel like something hanging over their heads before it even begins.

Because who knows what the future will bring. The only thing we can truly give our children are the values we choose to live by today.

Maybe the greatest gift we can give them this Pesach is not another trip or another upgrade.

Maybe it is showing them how to live with less pressure, more gratitude, and a deeper appreciation for what Yom Tov really is.

Let us go back to what our parents taught us.

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LETTER: COFFEE IN SHUL: WHY ARE WE SO BUSY WATCHING EVERYONE ELSE?
NUNU letters

LETTER: COFFEE IN SHUL: WHY ARE WE SO BUSY WATCHING EVERYONE ELSE?

There has been a lot of discussion lately about bringing coffee into shul. Every shul has a Rav, and every Rav has the right to decide what is appropriate for his shul and what the decorum should be. If a Rav says no coffee, that should obviously be respected. But my broader question is: Why are we so worried about what the person next to us is drinking? If someone walks into shul holding a coffee, why should that disturb my davening? My job is to daven, focus on Hashem, and not spend my time looking around and judging what everyone else is doing. Talking during davening is different. Chazal and the poskim speak strongly about it, and practically, someone talking can directly interfere with another person’s ability to daven and concentrate. But someone quietly drinking a coffee? Even if you personally feel it isn’t appropriate or respectful, why does it have to become everyone else’s concern? And more broadly, it is worth asking why we so often feel the need to point out what others are doing wrong. Even when we are convinced we are right, what is gained by writing about it, commenting on it, or focusing on it? Too often, it shifts our attention away from our own avodah and places it onto someone else’s behavior. Instead of elevating ourselves, it can easily lead to more judgment, more division, and less focus on our own growth. We should also remember that the real work is not to refine other people, but to refine ourselves. We are far more responsible for our own middos, our own kavanah, and our own growth than we are for anyone else’s choices. If we invested the same energy we sometimes spend analyzing others into improving ourselves, we would likely see far greater progress in our own avodas Hashem. Maybe part of proper shul decorum is also learning to focus less on what the person next to us is doing and more on our own davening and on how we can become better ourselves. Let every shul’s Rav set the standards for his shul and let the rest of us concentrate on talking to Hashem and becoming better people ourselves.

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